Coulrophobia: Creepy Clown Craze

clownClowns hold a mirror to society so that we can see the absurd in ourselves. So, to be afraid of them is ultimately to be afraid of yourself”. (David Riser, Ringling Brothers Circus Company)

“Sometimes its better to watch the mob rather than to try and reason with it “. (Commenticus )

“I have a bad feeling about this”. (Harrison Ford)

Its October again, and our nights are drawing in, shadows lengthen, early mornings are darker and the trees are slipping into their autumn colors. Halloween is coming right up as we near the nightmare end of this beyond freakish, dark carnival that has been America’s 2016 Presidential election season. It appears that the Deep State social engineers who use fear for social, economic and political gain, that use our compliant media to continually bombard us with alarm stimulants, have gone overboard this year with claims that our country is being menaced by an epidemic of killer clown sightings. And no, I am not making this up. This latest psy-ops divide and conquer, strategy of tension was likely launched with confidence that panic and paranoia would soon ensue following mass media reports of scary clowns jumping out of bushes to abduct children and terrify ordinary citizens. Better still, multiple, moronic ,copy-cat incidents of prowling clowns would surely follow.

As predicted, uproar ensued and along with a “public safety crisis” generated by multiple clown sightings, which in turn gave rise to a sinister clown jamboree of clown- related threats gone viral on social media sites. While there was some concern expressed that this new threat of “clownism” was just another case of easily terrified middle-class white people getting all worked up over the fear of anyone or anything that is not a middle class white person, school districts announced lock downs, closings and concerned parents kept their children at home. Some schools, now moving beyond those good old fashioned bomb threat scenarios, and being determined to remain open, have nevertheless, called upon police in order to make sure that their “perimeters were secured” = (clown-free ) Yes, really.

Throughout the country, sheriffs’ departments talk of canceling Halloween during this clown generated “stranger-danger ” previously presented in the guise of razor blades in apples ,poison candy and LSD laced cartoon stickers handed out to young children. Never mind there have been no verified cases of any such nefarious activities. Draconian anti-holiday measures are strongly supported by legions of backwoods evangelicals who believe that all costumed merrymakers are rightly and surely destined for Hell. As a result of these multiple concerns, many schools, churches and communities have banned clown- wear along with scary- vampire, witches, demons, and evil space-alien outfits for festivities surrounding October 31st.

At this point, one wonders if this matrix generated mass hysteria is nothing more than a pile of steaming click bait or if there might actually be some reality to this Killer Clown phenomenon. A much needed reality check with the Center for Disease Control provides us with the following facts concerning the leading causes of death in the USA.: ( Rachel Vorona Cote,

Heart disease: 614,348

Cancer: 591,699

Chronic Lower Respiratory Disease: 147,101

Accidents: (unintentional injuries) 136,053

Stroke: (Cerebral vascular Disease)133,103

Alzheimer’s Disease: 93,541

Clowns: 0

So, what’s really going on with this current outbreak of Coulrophobia (fear of clowns)? As you may well imagine the ongoing spate of Killer Clown articles, popping up throughout mainstream media, has provoked something like a riot in the comment sections. Here at last, some truth may be found in the near consensus among multi-national contributors that this phenomenon has something to do with our current presidential election. These perceptive readers maintain that there is, in fact, a boorish, crypto-fascist clown in orange face paint and fright wig comb-over, menacing America, who seems to be everywhere on TV. This observation makes real sense since politicians are viewed by many as clowns wearing disguises, while displaying artificial emotions that likely hide their true feelings and you can’t tell who they really are and what all that means behind the mask. (Rami Nader, NBC news, com, April 20, 2012)

In all fairness to Mr. Trump, who has opened the door for many other clowns to take center stage in politics, the dangerous clown is an ages-old figure dating back to the jester, fool and more sinister trickster figures. Our contemporary Evil Clown archetype came to the fore during the 1980s, popularized by Stephen King’s novel IT, in which a terrifying demon attacks in the guise of Pennywise the clown. This now classic horror was perhaps inspired by the infamous real life case of serial killer John Wayne Gacy (1942-1994) dubbed ” The Killer Clown”, a genuine registered clown, who entertained under the name Pogo. King’s novel was soon followed by “Killer Klowns From Outer Space” (1988) as well as the Joker character in a Batman movie representing a terrifying force of unpredictable anarchy. The Simpson’s TV episode ” I Can’t Sleep. The Clown Will Eat Me” also gained popularity. Web sites dedicated to evil clowns began to appear during the 1990s and then appeared a cult horror film “Clownhouse” featuring escaped mental patients masquerading as circus clowns. (, July)

At this stage of life, clowns now count among the fears that I don’t have, and rumors of clowns kidnapping children fail to convince; given that anyone intent on abducting children is not likely to do so wearing something as conspicuous as a colorful clown costume. And yet, upon reflection it has been my experience that there may be risks in getting too close to a clown since they have been known to sport water spouting artificial flowers and may be armed with paint ball ammunition. Custard pies are out of fashion. Logic suggests that in the event that you are actually attacked by a clown, you should immediately go for the juggler. However, personal safety experts advise that your best option is to simply run away, since clowns cannot run very fast in those floppy shoes and their vehicular reliability is not the best. Bonus tip: concerned citizens should carry a bag of banana skins, just in case, and just to be sure you can also carry one of those giant cork guns that when you pull the trigger, shoots out a small flag with the words “Bang! ” written on it. Bear in mind that this news is not all bad, and there are always those who will profit from crises. Vulture capitalists might take note that if these evil clown concerns continue there will likely be a lucrative market for expensive, defensive “clown spray”, although consumers might soon realize that generic seltzer water works just as well, at least until a mandatory anti-clown vaccine is ready for market.

Hyperventilating conspiracy theorists, probably driven mad by loud calliope music, together with distant honking sounds, fear that this rampant clownism may be only Phase II of Mc Donald’s world domination project. While concerned citizens have called upon Federal Agents, and local police have been dispatched to investigate phantom clown sightings, their searches for clown-related evidence report no real red rubber noses left behind at the scene; nor were their oversize footprints, over sized shoes, silly string or buckets of rainbow glitter, for their forensic teams to analyze. (Kali Holloway,, October 10, 2016).

Nevertheless, a number of community organizers, and neighborhood action groups , not reassured by these lack of findings, are demanding legislation to round up all suspected, potential and actual clowns, their family members and accomplices for deportation. In the interim, measures should be taken to build a wall around their tents for which the circus is made to pay.

These are tough times for bewildered and upset clowns and these highly skilled performers and inheritors of a time honored profession are asking “Why do they hate our troupes?” As one disheartened professional explained: “It’s not easy being a clown. You get kicked by kids, bit by dogs and only admired by the dyspeptic elderly”. This sad plight has touched the hearts of sympathizers and pro-clown activists in Tucson, Arizona, who have organized a “Clown Lives Matter”, October march where participants are encouraged to dress in circus costumes , meet a clown , get a hug and the message that clowns are people of all colors, and these harmless fun-loving entertainers are not monsters to be feared. (

All in all, it is likely that this Halloween season hysteria will pass, and clown costumes will soon become passé. After November, Brown Shirts will be the new now, while those wearing bed sheets and burning crosses will retain their timeless appeal. Enough for now and I will probably continue to sleep with the light on, at least until this election is over. 

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